It’s the little things (or ones) that matter.

August 28th, 2010 § Leave a Comment

I have a small family. For most of my life, it was just me, my mom and my grandma driving each other crazy. Then, 10 days after my 17th birthday, and 5 months before I graduated from high school, my little brother was born.

When people ask me if I have any brothers and sisters, sometimes I say no, mostly because I forget. We weren’t raised together and we never lived in the same house. However, he’s still very much a part of me.

Even though we share just half of our genes, he’ll never be my half-brother. When someone is family, they’re family… it doesn’t matter how much DNA you share. Also, he’s the only other person in my entire family that actually looks like me (despite the hair color). I thought I was adopted most of the time growing up because I looked like no one else in my family. However, Kyle, despite sharing just half of my DNA, looks very much like my baby and childhood pictures (except for the long ringlets and more girl-ish features).

It makes me sad that he’s not allowed to come stay with me on the weekends, that I only see him a few times a year, or that I only talk to him once or twice a month. However, I value the interaction we have.

Whenever I talk to Kyle, it makes me so happy. I know everyone says this about kids they know or are related to, but he must be the smartest kid his age. Plus, he’s hilarious. Par exemple:

  1. In college, I took my boyfriend at the time to meet my dad and brother at a restaurant. Before we got our meal, he dropped a crayon on the floor. He picked up another crayon and started drawing. We wondered what he was drawing and why he kept looking under the table, instead of getting the crayon off the floor. Ten minutes later, he drew a big X on his placemat and said, “X marks the spot!” He’d drawn a treasure map to rescue the crayon. At three years-old.

  2. My dad and Kyle came to pick me and my cats up from Brooklyn last summer before I completely moved back to D.C. For the first two hours of the car ride, Kyle kept talking about how excited he was that I was moving home.

    Me: “Me too, kiddo. I missed you a lot while I was gone.”
    Kyle: “Can you just move in with us? I want to see you every day!”
    Me: “Sorry, kiddo. My job is in the city.”
    Kyle: “But I love you so much!”
    Me: “I love you so much, too.”
    He paused for a brief moment.
    Kyle: “Nicole, what is love?”

    Even though I’m sure he didn’t understand to the full extent what he was asking, I’m still impressed to this day that he even asked that and was capable of questioning something like that at such a young age.

  3. We talked the other night about him coming to visit me sometime shortly after school starts and his schedule gets really busy.

    Me: “You don’t sound very excited to visit me, or the cats!”
    Kyle: “If I was a dog, my tail would be wagging right now!”
    I laughed.
    Kyle: “And, if my tail was wagging, I’d be panting like this.” And he panted like a dog.

So, while most people think the kids they know are the smartest, I’m pretty certain I’m right about this one.

It’s a good day to go for a walk.

August 24th, 2010 § Leave a Comment

Two months ago, I started working on a client site between Logan and Dupont Circles. I thought this would be a great move because it was closer to home and, on nice days, I’d be able to walk. In case you hadn’t noticed, it’s been really hot in D.C.

Last Thursday was the first day since I began working there that it wasn’t disgustingly humid outside and I was able to walk all the way home, so I took advantage of the situation.

I walked all the way up 16th to U Street and turned right on 17th. An immediate left turn dropped me off onto my favorite street in all of D.C.: Seaton Street, NW.

Why do I love Seaton Street so much? Take a look for yourself:




When I walk down Seaton Street, I feel completely and totally removed from the city despite being in between three of the busiest residential neighborhoods – Dupont Circle, Adams Morgan, and the U Street Corridor. The noises from U Street and the busy 18th/Florida/U intersection are entirely drowned out from the trees. Everyone on the street maintains their tiny “front yard” with modest, yet beautiful landscaping. My stress washes away the every time I step onto the street.

I turned up the street and headed through Adams Morgan. There was a slight bump in the road when I saw this sign out in front of Crooked Beat records, a store I have a close personal past with but haven’t been in since moving back into the District. Thankfully, a quick Google search showed that the store is not going out of business, just moving due to increased rent by the landlord.

Days and walks like these really pull me more towards the “loving” part of my love/hate relationship with D.C.

Who I am.

August 23rd, 2010 § 2 Comments

I recently bought a URL to house my entire online persona. I’d wanted to do so for a while after I came across a few websites where people have a landing page with two links – personal or professional. I knew instantly I wanted to do this, but kept giving excuses – no time, I’m not a good enough designer – so that I didn’t make the website.

Then, I spent 8 hours in a car with my best friends on the way to their wedding in late July. While they were being mushy and listening to the Moulin Rouge soundtrack, I put The Black Keys on my headphones and knocked out this design pretty quickly:

It’s not perfect, it’s not amazing, but it works. I honestly spent more time writing the text for the front page than I did making the graphics in Photoshop and chopping it up to put it in Dreamweaver. After several hours of thinking, this is what I came up with for my biography:

Like most twentysomethings, I’m pretty neurotic. I’ve spent years developing online personas for companies and clients, but never found the right inspiration to create a singular, themed online persona for myself.

That’s because there’s no one thing that describes me. I’m a blogger. A knitter. A cat lady. A social media and nonprofit communicator. A graphic designer. A media consumer. A music and film buff. A perfectionist. A beer-drinking-sports-loving-girly-girl. A friend. A daughter. A big sister.

I keep thinking about this nearly a month later. I’ve realized I’m gaining more and more insight into a new aspect of myself every day. I used to have it all figured out, or I thought I did. As I get older, I realize that the more you think you have it figured out, the less you actually do. The more and more you try to control things in life, the more and more life decides to knock you back down to size.

I wasn’t always this way: I used to try to control every situation I entered into. I used to be a lot of things. A straight-A student. A competitive figure skater. A journalist. A healthy person (mono in college has significantly changed my overall health). A picky eater. A recluse. A snob. A roommate. A girlfriend. I’m no longer any of those things.

This all changed when I didn’t graduate from college when I was supposed to. After some Major Life Events, I was three classes and a thesis short of graduating in May 2007. Not only did these events change the course of my college career, but they also woke me up to a new lifestyle: one that was more accepting of others and willing to try new things.

Everything I’d done up until that point was perfect, yet it caused imperfect things to happen to me. I thought the things I did in high school and college would set me up on this perfect path to fulfill all my dreams, but it didn’t. If I didn’t start putting myself in new situations and trying new things, I’d only set myself up for failure again.

Now, I’m constantly learning that who I am is something I’m figuring out every day.

The end is near.

August 22nd, 2010 § Leave a Comment

No. Not that end.

The end of my destructive habits is near. Very near.

Beginning later today when I wake up (I’m writing this at 12:39am on a Sunday morning), I’m putting an end to my destructive habits. No man, woman, or cat is safe from these rules in my apartment either.

Starting tomorrow:

  1. My apartment will be cleaned and will stay clean. This only goes for the human in my apartment. The cats really have nothing to do with this. I just know that when I don’t clean my apartment, they’re really grumpy and wind up sleeping on the piles of clothing on the floors. Also, I feel as though the state of your apartment represents the state of togetherness in your life. Right now, both are a mess. Maybe if I clean up one, the other will fall in line?
  2. Regular exercise will occur. Back in April, I’d lost 20 pounds. I was feeling really good, ready for summer and a new job to start, but it all fell to pieces. As soon as I started the new job, I spent more hours commuting and sitting at a desk than I spent standing or moving my body at an aerobic pace. I’ve definitely gained some of that weight back and I’m not happy about it. I also want to feel stronger and be able to do more (and be able to buy a single digit-sized coat in October). This rule definitely applies to the cats. I mean, just look at this guy:

  3. Only healthy, nutritious food will be consumed, unless it’s a special occasion. I’m also going to start feeding the boys healthier cat food. We all need to eat better if we want to be around longer.
  4. No more staying up late on weeknights. I need to make a schedule and stick to it. I think I’m going to start sleeping with a water bottle in bed with me so I can spray the cats when they do things like pawing at my face or attempting to rip out the hairtie in my hair while I’m sleeping.

It all begins with tomorrow: “clean-the-hell-out-of-your-apartment” day. I’m finally going to put together the desk I bought a month and a half ago. Hopefully, it won’t turn into a Liz Lemon situation where I need to use a ham-covered wedding dress to stabilize my new desk. We’ll see. Afterward, I plan to sit down and start blogging regularly.

Poor you.

New favorites in an old city.

August 17th, 2010 § Leave a Comment

When I moved back to D.C. from Brooklyn, I was worried I’d quickly be bored by the slower pace of life and lack of things to do. Instead, I feel like D.C. is a lot like Brooklyn/New York in that I’m constantly discovering things – good and bad. As you know, I have a love/hate relationship with D.C. and we’re currently on bad terms. Why? I’m not sure actually; we’re just kind of in a funk. We both need the other to make some changes, but neither one of us are budging at the moment.

Two weekends ago, however, two new friends of mine (@alexpriest and @ptklein) set out for an afternoon of “working” in a coffee shop, followed by dinner and drinks. The first thing Alex did: send out a tweet to his 3,000 followers on Twitter asking for recommendations for coffee shops in the Friendship Heights neighborhood. Within a few minutes, suggestions from his followers came pouring in, including one from a local food blogger we both follow:

That was it. The plan was set. We were going to meet up at the @TynanCoffeeTea the next day at 2pm.

We met up on Saturday, and, after a few hours in the coffee shop, we quickly grew hungry and remembered there was a pizza shop that just opened about a mile away that recently followed both of us on Twitter. My friend DMed (direct messaged) @petes_newhaven and asked if there was a discount for Twitter followers. Even though there wasn’t an actual deal for the Twitter followers, the administrator of the account quickly replied and offered us a free round of beer with our pizza (The Edge of the Woods: eggplant, ricotta, caramelized onions, and spinach) and we needed no further convincing.

Being the social media nerds that we are, we all instantly checked in on Foursquare after being greeted by the incredibly friendly staff. We told the manager about the Twitter special we were offered and they happily obliged.

When our pizza came, we took pictures and then took a bite. We were all hooked. Impressed with the quality of ingredients and excellent flavors, we all instantly tweeted pictures and reviews of our experience.

With each new bite, we became bigger and bigger fans. Although we only tried the Edge of the Woods pizza, everything that passed by looked incredibly delicious, even the spaghetti (I hate spaghetti). We were all also impressed with their social media efforts to get us all into the store. Once we were there, the amazing customer service and outstanding product made us fall in love even more.

For the social media/small business angle of this story, check out my original post on the Carousel30 Interactive blog.

Exposing yourself.

August 16th, 2010 § Leave a Comment

If you know anything about me, you know that my entire life is online, and I have very strong opinions about the types of content people put online about themselves.

That’s why, when my friend Melanie decided to start a guest blogging series about body image issues on her website, I was shocked when I was one of the first few to pipe up and offer a post. I was even more shocked when, a few weeks later, I decided to write another post.

I come from a very sarcastic family and, being a cynical person, I generally joke around a lot. I started joking about my body image issues at a young age and have poorly masked my insecurities for a long time. When Melanie asked me to write a post about my breast reduction in December 2007, I didn’t think I’d have such a hard time writing it. I also didn’t realize how much time and energy went into making the decision to have elective surgery (even though I don’t feel it was elective).

Then, after reading the body image posts each and every day, I realized I still had a lot to say about my body. I decided to write another post, not about my issues with my body, but how I express my internal emotions externally on my body through my tattoos.

Although I didn’t really struggle with putting the personal content online, I absolutely did struggle with putting pictures of my tattoos online. I don’t normally expose them unless I’m with family and friends simply because of their placement. I have just three visible tattoos and they’re almost always covered up, too. Still, I’m okay with having that information out there.

While I don’t normally agree with putting very private, sensitive information out for the public to consume, here’s why I’m okay with having that information in the public realm until the internets dissolve:

  1. I carefully thought about what I put out there. I didn’t rush either of the posts and tried to make them relevant to others.
  2. They accurately portray my personality. Nothing is false, no pretenses.
  3. I don’t say anything negative about anyone or anything else.

Posting these things would generally go against my personal online branding standards, my online brand is continually evolving just as the internet and the ways in which we communicate evolve.

Focus, girl. Focus.

August 14th, 2010 § 5 Comments

Sometimes I feel like I have ADD. My addiction to the internet, my phone, and social media have simultaneously ruined my life and made it a million times better.

How is that possible?

Here’s how it’s been ruined:

  1. I constantly check my email, social media accounts, and text messages. I’m not even popular; I’m just completely and totally addicted.
  2. I carry my computer everywhere I go and feel completely naked without it. In addition to taking a toll on my mental well-being, it’s taking a toll on my right shoulder and lower back.
  3. I constantly hear/feel phantom rings and vibrations from my phone. Thankfully I’m not the only one this happens to, but I still feel really ridiculous when it happens.
  4. I feel completely out of touch when I don’t have cell phone reception. No explanation needed. This is just sad.

And improved:

  1. I’ve made a lot of new friends in a short period of time. The D.C. social media community is a strong, vibrant and close-knit community. It’s great to take these online relationships offline (and move it to IRL) with other geeky people in a city known mostly for it’s uptight-ness and lack of personality. These people have served as friends, educators, and sounding boards in times when I needed someone to talk to.
  2. I have a newfound confidence in myself.
  3. When I needed help getting my blog started, I instantly had it. I put one call out to people interested in writing for me and, within minutes, I had people responding to me interested in writing about their careers. I’ve reconnected with old friends and gained new friends through this incredible project.

Overall, I think the pros outweigh the cons. However, I still feel like I need to focus my thoughts and attention. That’s definitely going to come into play with this blog in the future. I’ve definitely been struggling with a concept for this for a while – I’ve written about a lot of things over the past year and I need to focus.

From here on out, this blog is going to focus on me. Me living in the city. That’s what the name is (Nicole in D.C.), right? Even though the D.C. blogging community is filled with excellent, thoughtful writers, I feel like I have my own place and viewpoint within that community. Hopefully, I’ll keep up with this unlike my resolutions.

The internet ruins everything.

May 3rd, 2010 § 4 Comments

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, almost my entire life is spent online. Between work, communicating, watching television, paying bills, or selling my handmade items, I’d guestimate that 95% of my awake time is spent online. (I even wrote most of this post from a Metro train and I saved each time I hit a station with cell reception.)

Maybe it’s just my obsessive hyperconnectedness that causes me to check Twitter, Facebook and email several times an hour or maybe it’s a nervous tic I’m developing. Last night, I actually plotted how I could gain the “Brooklyn 4 Life” Foursquare badge (requires 25 separate check-ins at various Brooklyn locations) in two days’ time.

I’m beginning to think the Internet, and various technologies, are ruining everything good and wholesome about life.

Here are a few reasons:

  • The Internet easily turns you into a stalker. No one can claim innocence here. Everyone has a little bit of stalker in them and social media encourages it. Just like everything in life, it’s okay in moderation, right? But, where’s that line between finding out your crush’s favorite band and guessing how many people he’s dated in the past 6 months by checking his facebook wall/status updates?

  • The Internet makes people want to share things instantly — even live events. Maybe I’m a sucker, but I’m 24 years old and I still love surprises. Live tweeting might be one of the worst “inventions” to come out of social media, yet, again, I’ve done it before. [I'm more likely to live tweet my visit to my favorite cupcake store or cooking dinner, but I still do it.] Not only does it ruin the feeds of every person following you, but you’re not saying anything original about what’s going on.

    Long before the days of Tivo, Twitter, and Hulu, you either caught your favorite show live or you didn’t see it at all. Missing an episode of Friends or Seinfeld meant you’d have to hope it shows up in re-runs over the summer. Websites dedicated to uncovering the mysteries of the smoke monster/The Man In Black wouldn’t have existed. Now, if you’re not home at 9pm on Tuesdays, yet you still want to check your Facebook or Twitter feeds, you’re almost guaranteed to have the entire episode of Lost spoiled for you.

  • The Internet ruins past-times. Again, something I’m guilty of. I used to read and write all the time, now I struggle to open a book or read something other than the front page of CNN.com or Entertainment Weekly. I long for the feeling of reading a good book, but I just don’t. Instead of bringing a book along for my morning commute, I refresh my TweetDeck before I get on Metro and read updates I missed from the night before.

  • The Internet wants me to connect to people and things with whom I don’t want to be connected. While I appreciate the new “community” pages on Facebook, I find the sharing options to be incredibly annoying. I’m not an organized person, but I keep my internet browsing very separated. Everyone I know on Facebook doesn’t need to know what I’m reading on CNN.com (or the embarrassing stations I listen to on Pandora).

What are some things the internet ruins for you?

LocaLOVE.

April 1st, 2010 § 2 Comments

Have you ever had one of those bipolar relationships? You know, the ones where you’re equally repulsed and equally turned on by the other?

That’s how I feel about the District. He and I have had an off-and-on, love-hate relationship for the past seven years.

It started out great; everything was exciting and new and nothing he did could let me down. Ahh, those were the days. Not even aching hips from walking on concrete all day or getting take out for every meal could ruin my idyllic fantasy of city life.

The honeymoon lasted more than three years until we had our first breakup.

I met someone else.

I was lured to New York for the summer with the promises of bright lights, new adventures, and … important internships. I immediately fell in love with my new city and moved on. For awhile.

Three months and two Life Moments later, I returned back to the District. The next year, we pretended that we were still right for each other. Both of us had grown and changed, but we weren’t able to recognize that it wasn’t a good fit. I tried doing all my “normal” things – going to my favorite theater, eating at my favorite places, studying for exams under my favorite tree on the mall. He greeted me with soupy summer days followed by beautiful autumnal nights. We were both trying to make it work.

We spent another year hating each other, resenting everything the other did. The hard, concrete sidewalks made me throw my back out and I moved to Arlington only visiting to go to work.

I moved back to New York the next summer where I thought I was fulfilling my every dream — working in the music industry, being broke and happy in Brooklyn, and doing that whole “growing as a person” thing. Until it all came crashing down.

All that time, the District was still there. Waiting for me. While I was gone, the city remained constant. Instead of rejecting the District as an option for the Next Phase of my life, I’d matured. I realized I’d gained the patience to cope with the finickiness of the city.

So, I moved back. One last time.

Last weekend, I officially fell back in love with the city. After weeks of going back and forth because of the weather, my job, or metro dysfunctions, I finally did what I used to do every time I needed to clear my head and get in touch with the city again: I went for a walk.

In 3.5 miles (from Woodley Park, down the bridge into Dupont, and onward to Georgetown), I was able to find the clarity I’d been lacking for awhile and realized that no matter what I do, who I meet, or where I go, the District’s home. How could I turn my back on him now?

Seven years in, I think things between us are only just getting started…

Nothing is private if you put it online.

March 30th, 2010 § 1 Comment

It’s been exactly 362 days since I was laid off and, in that year, I’ve learned a lot about myself personally and professionally. I’ve figured out what I don’t want to do with my life (work in the music industry), what I do want to do with my life (work for a progressive nonprofit communications firm), and how to get there (work as hard as I possibly can). To get there, I have to do certain things.

Hard work is the number one priority. As soon as I got laid off, the first thing I did (after sulking for a week and watching all four seasons of Battlestar Galactica) was apply for jobs and internships. Then, I built myself an online brand. That brand, now updated to what you see today, took three months to develop and become fruitful.

Never once did I consider removing my name from Facebook or canceling my Twitter account – I shouldn’t be afraid of these forums. I know they can never truly be hidden on the internet, but I can control what people find out about me by limiting the things I put online. Instead, I used Facebook and Twitter, in addition to a blog, to leverage my social media experience into a job.

No, not everyone wants to go into social media marketing for nonprofits. But don’t try to pretend that you’re not online when you really are.

I came across this article today in which people (probably around my age) were altering their social media lives during their job search. One interviewee stated that he changed his name on Facebook so that he was unsearchable only to discover that you can search for people via email addresses. He’s since changed his name back.

He later claims that Facebook is a private space and that “too many people take pictures of you. [He] didn’t want to go through and ‘untag’ all of them.”

So, you want a job, but you’re too lazy to go in and untag photos of yourself? That’s not a good sign, sir.

I passed along the article and my boss and I shared a few quick emails about our initial reactions to the article:

Me: I find it unbelievable that they’re talking about changing their names on Facebook so they don’t come up in searches, but they still use their real names to be quoted in an article on CNN.com.

My boss: My only surprise would be to learn that this is just now starting to happen, but maybe that’s because I’m from a generation that doesn’t think exposing every aspect of my life and daily doings online is normal. Could it really be true that there are youngsters out there who are just now realizing that their online profiles could hurt them in the eyes of employers (and beyond)?

We both took particular exception to two quotes:

“There’s nothing illegal or too ridiculous in the photos … but people don’t take pictures of people studying or doing school work. They take pictures of people at parties and doing silly things.”

Her response: …but people ALSO take pictures of other people traveling overseas and broadening their horizons; attending cultural events; partaking in healthy outdoor activities; sharing holidays with the family; etc. etc. There’s a whole world of wholesome, employer-friendly photo topics out there.

I’d never actually thought about it like this, but she’s completely right. There are no pictures of me anywhere on the internet of me being drunk or dressed inappropriately… mostly because I don’t do those things, but if I did, I’d have the good sense not to publish them online where they can be shared, downloaded, and indexed by billions of people whether I know them or not.

“Such prying into his online life makes Gawel uncomfortable.”

My response: As someone who works in social media, it’s perplexing that people don’t understand that your profile is out there for everyone to read or search for, unless you’re very familiar with privacy settings. Even then, that doesn’t stop someone else from reposting what you write into a public forum. It’s a page on the internet. How could you stop someone from seeing it?

I, too, have skeletons in my internet persona closet. In my senior year of college, a roommate and I got into a verbal argument which resulted in her physically harming me. Instead of taking issue with the University (they punished both of us), she took to her LiveJournal and spread damaging lies about me… using my full name. Knowing I couldn’t go to her and ask her to remove it, I made a note of this blemish in interviews and cover letters if I thought the hiring managers might search for me. I did so for a year or two until it no longer appeared in the top Google search results for my name.

As someone who got a job by bolstering my social media presence instead of hiding inappropriate photos of myself, here are some tips (whether you want them or not) about what you should – or should not – do when looking for a job:

  • Don’t complain about other people in your status updates. If you absolutely need to vent your frustrations, don’t use their real name or allude to who you might be talking about.

  • Don’t post pictures of other people and mock them online. I don’t think I need to describe this further.

  • Don’t do something in view of cameras that you wouldn’t do in front of your current/potential boss. You may not be Michael Phelps, but someone will find these embarrassing photos some day and it will come back to bite you.

  • Connect with people who do what you want to do. Easy enough, right? I wanted to go into nonprofit communications, so I followed the top nonprofit communications experts on Twitter and started retweeting them, communicating with them, and following their blogs. They may not know who I am, but I learned valuable lessons from them and kept my online persona clean.

What are some of your social media persona tips?