Nicole in D.C.

Latest Post

An open letter to people no longer in my life.

Dear friend, family, coworker, ex-boyfriend, former roommate, or person I knew for a time and no longer keep up with outside of Facebook updates:

I really cared for you.

Having you in my life was (probably) very important to me in some way or another.

I learned from you (I think).

Our experiences (hopefully) made me a better, smarter, wiser person.

But I’ve moved on.

You’re no longer in my life for one reason or another. Maybe we had a fallout and can’t remember what was said, but we’re still angry at one another. Or, maybe you have another relationship that I don’t approve of. Or, maybe our relationship just reached its expiration date and we lost touch. I’m sorry that happened.

I don’t think you’re a bad person.

I don’t dislike you or resent you for anything you’ve done or feelings you may have toward me.

I don’t regret any of the time I spent with you or on our relationship.

But I’ve moved on.

Maybe one day one of us will have the inclination to get back in touch and see how the other’s doing. Maybe I’ll want to know what your kids look like or if your kitten got fat and less adorable like I told you it would. Maybe you’ll want to know if I still like that show with that guy because it makes you think of me every time you watch it. Maybe I’ll want to know if you listened to the new Tom Waits… because I still can’t.

I can promise you that I won’t do that. I won’t rehash the past no matter how much I miss you after a conversation with a new friend that reminds me of you. I won’t send you a text, out of context and three years too late. I won’t continue to poke and prod about what went wrong and continue to search for answers. I won’t open those wounds again for either one of us. I hope you extend the same courtesy.

I’ve moved on. I’m pretty sure you have, too. I don’t need closure anymore because I have acceptance. I hope you do, too.

Closure, I’ve realized, is a selfish, dirty thing that only leaves you wanting more. It’s not that I don’t miss you or think about you or care about how you’re doing in life it’s that I’ve come to terms with you having a life that no longer involves me, and vice versa. I don’t need to know the how or the why, just that it is the way it is. However, I accept that you were important in my life for a particular time, era, or purpose and thank you for that.

Thank you for making me who I am,

Always,

Nicole